7 Ways To Regulate Your Nervous System and Support Your Pelvic Health
It Involves the Nervous System
As a neuro-rehab occupational therapist who is living with a spinal cord injury, chronic pain, and trying to stay centred as a mother of a toddler during a pandemic, one insight that has continued to re-emerge over the last few years is how my physical, emotional, cognitive and spiritual healing and growth involves the nervous system.
Whether one is feeling overwhelmed with the challenges of pelvic floor or sexual dysfunction, having a hard time coping with chronic pelvic or sexual pain or simply feeling stressed by daily life, the mechanism for calming ourselves down where we feel safe and relaxed involves the nervous system. According to a polyvagal theory, we can be in one of three modes.
One is the parasympathetic mode where the ventral vagus nerve is activated (also known as our relaxation response). This is the mode where rest, digestion, repair, and the solidification of learning occurs. Being in this state is the end goal of practices that aim to up-regulate and/or down-regulate the nervous system when we are stressed or overwhelmed. This is the state where our healing and growth occurs and so it is important that we are proficient in skills that can regulate our nervous system.
The other two modes are the parasympathetic mode where the dorsal vagus nerve is activated (also known as the freeze response) and the sympathetic mode (also known as the fight or flight response). When we are living in either of these two modes, our capacities for healing and growing are limited because the bodies resources are instead reserved for protection. Over time, when we live in these states on a daily basis, rarely giving our bodies a chance to regulate itself and come to rest, we become more prone to injury and illness or in other words dis-ease.
Regulating Your Nervous System with Mindfulness and Self-Compassion
While there are various ways to regulate our nervous systems, a practice that many are coming to embrace is that of Mindful Self-Compassion. While mindfulness is the skill of observing one’s experiences of the mind and body with curious acceptance, self-compassion is the skill of kindly holding one’s self - the experiencer- when the mind and body are struggling and overwhelmed. Where mindfulness has us being with our experiences as they are, self-compassion has us doing something to bring ease to our suffering. Together, the practices of mindfulness and self-compassion are known to be some of the most powerful agents or changes in the nervous system.
Based on mindfulness and self-compassion, here are 7 ways to regulate your nervous system during challenging moments:
1. Set the intention to pay attention with curiosity and acceptance. The first step to healing and growth begins with mindfulness, which is the skill of paying attention to the present moment with the open mind and open heart of curious acceptance. Even if you may not like what is happening in the now, you have the ability to allow the reality of the present to be as it is. So if you choose to, the next time you are challenged, pause, take a breath and set the intention to allow the present moment to be as it is (without trying to change it) and observe with the curious interest and fresh eyes of a child. This intention alone can start the physiological process of regulating your nervous system.
2. Distinguish between thoughts, emotions and sensations and label them. After you’ve set the intention to observe yourself with curious acceptance, scan your body and notice what sensations are here. Perhaps asking yourself “how do I feel emotionally? What feelings are here right now and where do I feel them in my body? What thoughts are arising?” Then explore labeling the sensations and emotions that you feel. Daniel Siegel says that we can “name it to tame it” because simply putting our feelings into words can regulate our emotions and sensations, leading to resiliency over time.
3. Use soothing touch. If you’re experiencing stress and overwhelm, try placing one or both hands on your chest with the intention to comfort, warm and soothe your stressed body. You can have your hand(s) placed firmly on your body or have them gently moving up and down or around in small circles. Explore placing soothing hands on other parts of your body including your eyes, jaws, neck, shoulders, arms and/or any place experiencing discomfort or is calling out to be touched. All around the world, the benefits of healing hands are known and research too is catching up with evidence showing how soothing touch releases oxytocin (our natural feel good hormone) and opiates (the body’s natural pain killers.)
4. Use phrases of mindfulness. When asked “how are you” some of us can be stuck in the habit of reacting with the phrase “I’m good” or “I’m okay” when really we are not feeling that way. Mindfulness asks us to be honest with ourselves when we are struggling and thus allows us to acknowledge our painful feelings as they are without judgment. So instead of habitually saying we are okay when we are not okay, we may honestly say to ourselves (or to another) any of the following:
“I’m tired”
“I’m struggling”
“I’m not okay”
“I need help”
“I’m overwhelmed”
“I’m having a hard time”
“I’m experiencing a lot of stress right now.”
It is not only a gift to meet ourselves as we are, with acceptance and without judgment, but also healing because these mindful phrases are simple yet powerful ways to regulate ourselves.
5. Use phrases of common humanity. When we are struggling, many of us tend to feel like we are alone in our experiences. Especially when many tend to share the bright aspects of their lives on social media versus the dark aspects, this tends to leave us feeling like we are isolated or even abnormal. By using phrases of common humanity, we are reminding ourselves of the truth that our experiences are part of a larger human experience - that we are not alone. The next time you need this reminder, try saying any of the following phrases to yourself:
“I am not alone.”
“I am just like everyone else.”
“Struggling is a part of living.”
“Every human being struggles in this way.”
“Others are just like me.”
“We all struggle in our lives.”
“Suffering is part of the human condition.”
6. Use phrases of kindness. For various reasons, many of us tend to have critical self-talk wired into our daily narrative - we are after all, our own worst critics. So when it comes to comforting and encouraging ourselves when times are tough, we may find ourselves at a loss for words. With repetition of kind phrases over time, you’ll find yourself speaking to yourself with more care and understanding rather than harsh judgment. Here are some phrases to explore:
“May I be kind to myself.”
“May I accept myself as I am.”
“May I forgive myself.”
“May I trust myself.”
“May I give myself what I need.”
7. Use compassionate breathing. Finally, the seventh way to regulate your nervous system involves the intentional use of your breath. Where mindful breathing has you just observing your breath without trying to change it, compassionate breathing has you using your breath to affect change. Specifically, with compassionate breathing you are using your breath to soothe, comfort and warm up your body. In other words, you are letting your body know that it is being held and thus it is safe, consequently regulating the nervous system.
There are various ways to breathe with compassion - it is up to you to explore with curiosity the various ways you can breathe in a way that lets your body feel comforted, soothed, held and safe. Here are a few suggestions for you to try:
Breathe as if you were massaging your body from the inside out, allowing the rhythm of the inbreath and outbreath to massage your muscles, facia, ligaments, tendons, bones, vessels and viscera.
Visualize your breath as a moist cloud or fog bringing, even adding in a colour to the cloud (i.e., gold like a sun). Remember, where your attention goes, neural wiring, blood flow and life force energy goes. So bring your breath and attention to all parts of your body - especially parts experiencing pain, parts where emotions are held, and parts that are calling out to be met with your attention.
Over the next few weeks, I invite you to play around with each of the above ways to regulate your nervous system. Once you’ve tried each of them, explore combining them together whether it’s just two or all seven ways into a short practice. Over time with practice, you may find yourself feeling more calm, connected and centred - even in the face of pain, stress and overwhelm.
Mindful Self-Compassion Workshop:
If you would like support in cultivating your own practice of Mindful Self-Compassion and would like to bring more healing and wellness to your life, consider joining our online workshop which will be hosted by the Proactive Pelvic Health Centre on Saturday February 11th, 2023 from 10am - 12pm. Early Bird rates are $65 until January 21st, 2023 and $75 afterwards. This workshop will be facilitated by Occupational Therapist, Mindful Self-Compassion Coach and Author, Jaisa Sulit.
To register or for more information email info@proactiveph.com.